animalstalkinginallcaps:

WAITING LIST? BACKGROUND CHECK? THIS IS AMERICA, PAUL. I WENT TO A GUN SHOW. IN AND OUT IN 20 MINUTES. NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, THERE’S A FAMILY OF CARDINALS IN THE POPLAR TREE WHO THINK THEY CAN TALK SHIT ABOUT MY PLUMAGE.
DON’T LOOK SO WORRIED. I’LL SAY IT WAS SELF DEFENSE.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

WAITING LIST? BACKGROUND CHECK? THIS IS AMERICA, PAUL. I WENT TO A GUN SHOW. IN AND OUT IN 20 MINUTES. NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, THERE’S A FAMILY OF CARDINALS IN THE POPLAR TREE WHO THINK THEY CAN TALK SHIT ABOUT MY PLUMAGE.

DON’T LOOK SO WORRIED. I’LL SAY IT WAS SELF DEFENSE.